Unplugged...

So I've been mulling some thoughts over in my head for the past couple days. They sort of bubbled up to the surface today. I have an unhealthy obsession with Google+, well not just Google+ but technology in general, the Internet is a fickle thing.

First off lets look at Google+.

1. I am here in a purely social capacity, I have no requirement to be connected 24/7. It occurred to me on my drive home, the Google+ stream is evil. Joking aside, it's almost like a fruit machine, spin the stream, we have a winner. The more you circle the more chance of winning, i.e. finding something interesting or to tickle your fancy.

And here's the rub... IT WILL STILL BE THERE LATER. I suddenly realized that, which is a little odd for a chap who persists data for a living.

So what am I going to do, GTFO that's what. It was getting to the point of, ooh let me finish a task at work so I can spin the stream. WTF a little red box, that must be important. I had better stop what I'm doing and check it! Now I am being a little unfair on myself, purely because that's how Amy and I can keep in touch during the day, with the vagaries of corporate IT policy blocking on firewalls it has proven a reliable method. When I come home and I'm sitting having dinner or having a delightful conversation, is there any real need? I don't think so. I wrote a comment a couple of days ago on a thread along the lines of "I've lived in my house for 3 years but it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that I step foot in my neighbors house" I mean really??? When I was a kid we were in and out and through all the houses on my street, I knew everyone, even the cranky old bugger who didn't cut his grass or open his curtains. This is why I need to unplug a little. Find some balance in my Internet use. I can have all these virtual friends,but I can't make the effort to cross the street for a cup of coffee. Maybe this is what's wrong with society as a whole, community spirit is gone. Well starting now, and late is better than never I'm making some changes!

Ok, and to those who I follow intently, Amy in particular, I'm not plusfucking, I'm just catching up.

Next up.... The dreaded smartphone.

This thing is a curse, I mean it! First a little back story....

I have a fabulous fiancee in Amy, we met on Google+, fell in love unequivocally, and will be getting married on 07/27, a year to the day we met. She lives 400 miles away from me across a long ass state called PA. We rely on the Internet for all of our daily communication. Interestingly enough she is very good at putting the phone down, though I suspect her obsession with Google+ runs a little deeper :P

Right now you're wondering where the curse is I bet. Can someone explain to me why I obsessively check it all the time through the day. It sits on my desk at work, whispering slide to unlock trying to corrupt my current thought process.

HELLO! IT HAS A RINGER. THE FUCKING THING WILL BEEP WHEN IT REQUIRES SOME ATTENTION.

So knowing that why do I find it continually in my hand, it's like it's almost surgically attached. I don't need to continually fondle you, you electronic Jezebel!

The answer for this one is right in front of me too, my work blackberry goes on the mantelpiece when I get home, once Amy moves, Jezebel has a new home too.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is so much going on right in front of us, yet that's not good enough, we insist that more interesting things are happening in a place that consists of electrons whizzing back and forth.

So with my exorcism complete I intend to unplug more often and focus on what is at hand, what I can touch, I hope some of you will too.

Legal Marriage, just bin it

So I've been watching all the hullabaloo over the last couple days, the outrage from people on either side and even in the middle. Seems nobody is happy and there is neither result was going to make anyone happy.

So I started thinking is there a third way....

Well I think there is. First lets get some definitions down. I'll be using them later, these aren't the dictionary definitions, just mine to separate the two concepts.

1. Legal Marriage is the protections afforded under the law.
2. Traditional or Religious Marriage is the ceremony of actually getting married and what constitutes the rules around being married.

The religious aspect of marriage is a very personal thing, it's based on our belief systems, our culture and heritage. Marriage is different between a Jew, a Muslim, a Christian, a Buddhist, etc. Is anyone more right than the other no? These are beliefs not laws. No one system is more correct than the other and that's the way it should be. Amy and I, neither of us being religious in the least discussed a Quaker style wedding minus the religious aspect. Our friends and family would be given the opportunity to speak to us.

We would then still need to complete the legal portion of the marriage. The term marriage is a bit of a misnomer here, we're actually signing a contract between each other and a mountain of legislation governing the laws of said contract comes into effect. Not very romantic, and once you start reading it, it sounds more like a business contract than a marriage. So why not call it what it is?

There is of course another valid use case here, and I don't mean same-sex marriages, civil unions, etc.

When I was very small, my grandparents had a nice house in Edinburgh, I remember the red front door vividly to this day. Next door to them lived two little old ladies, and I mean little old ladies in the typical stereotype too, lavender tweed twinsets all the way. They had been companions for each other for decades, no relation to each other past friends. They lived in the same house, shared all the bills and responsibility, were next of kin for each other. Sounds almost like a marriage without the sex. The question becomes should they be allowed into a domestic partnership? My say would be yes, though it was not a romantic relationship but one of friendship and companionship, they should be allowed to seek the same protections under the law.

This is key, the idea of a domestic partnership does not equate to marriage, marriage is a ceremonial act and way of living, the partnership provides the underlying framework of law. Partnerships can take many forms, just like legal marriage now, there may or may not be custody, no children and those sections of the law do not apply, just like they do today.

I think once we remove the concept of marriage from the legal system, a lot of what people currently balk at will dissipate, they will be what they really are...

Contracts between two people.

A Google+ Hiatus

So last week in a fit of #nerdrage I deleted my Google+ account, it's a long story but there are many trolls and I decided I had had enough of reading about guys wanting to bend my fiancee over.


So I was left with squat, when I reinstated my account, my circles were gone as were my posts. A Google+ enema if you like, I was cleaned out. As a beginning, I recircled everyone I could think of that I interact with regularly, I'll let the rest grow organically.


So I decided to conduct a little experiment...


I had both my Facebook and Google+ up and running, why not engage where I choose. Amy tends to cross post between both Google+ and FaceBook so I engaged where I thought the interaction was better. I would look at her posts and comment/+1/Like as I saw fit.


Given this was a relatively small sample of posts, only a couple days worth. I found my self engaging with her more on FaceBook than I did on Google+. So I started to wonder why. 


On FaceBook, I can be more open about our relationship, folks comments in general were more respectable, people seemed 'nicer'. Not to say she doesn't happen to have that on Google+, but interspersed with all the decent folks, there are a ton of assholes. Not just the crude and crass, but a wealth of folks who have an appalling superiority complex, "Don't post that crap here, it belongs on FaceBook" is a comment I see regularly. Why people even feel the need to comment is beyond me, are they the Google+ thought police or something?


FaceBook seems more social than Google+, it also has its faults. Reaching people I've never met is harder for me. Google+ provides me access to millions of people I haven't met yet :). There is a lot of good content on Google+, and I've met some great people I would never have met otherwise.


The conclusion I eventually arrived was that there is room in this world for both, and I'll tailor my engagement to both platforms. My posts and engagement will go to where I think they are best suited.